Need the old you badly!

Why need the the 'old' badly?
Cuz dear's different now,since i lied to her..dear told me that i wont get back the old dears,sighs..
it's not to say i wanna lie dears but i have to,i'm sorry i broke dear's heart,i know dears disappointed in me,i have to lie because if i tell dear that i'm stil smoking for sure dear will not accept wan,that's why i lied..sorrys dear,):

But then i wanna tell out something,
Dear changed my life since 16th november 2009,
i'm really thankful cuz i met dear,
before i met dears,my life was upside down,
alcohol is in me,everything is in me,
but with dear,i seriously changed.
started to pray,attend religion class,
it's like i'm a different person,seriously different,
but then there's a feeling,it feels funny,
it's like i'm in love,but with who?
with dears luu,start from that day,
i started calling dears 'Dear' and stuff..
i know we just knew each other but that kind of feeling,
i can't stand it anymore,i have to let it out,
seconds by seconds,
minutes by minutes,
hours by hours,
day by day,
weeks by weeks,
months by months,
dears and me are getting closer,
what i'm feeling,i tell dears,
what dear's feeling,she tell me,
i's like something in us,
i trusted her,she sorta trusted me,
that's why till today,i'm still waiting,
but there's something,i'll tell later,
wait for another post from me,i'm kinda busy now..
laters.