Words Can't Describe It

Why i say like that?
It's because i cant describe how i feel right now,
It's upside down,
I wanna go right but im walking to the left side,
I wanna go left but im walking to the right side,
I wanna wake but im still sleeping,
I wanna sleep but im still awake,
Why is this happening to me?
I know i already fell in love,but why im like this?
Is that feeling getting deeper and deeper?
When i close my eyes,
I think of her,
Who is her?
It's Dears,
No matter what i do,
I think of her,
I make it through everynight,
Just for her,
I try not to do something that she doesn't like,
Just for her,
I'd do everything just for her,
I'll keep her warm and safe in the lonely night,
I'll protect her if there's danger,
I'll comfort her if she's moody or unhappy,
I'll always be there for her,
I'll do anything just to make her happy,
I'll make her smile and laugh,
I'll hug her if she's nervous,
I'll kiss her if she cry,
I'll be there for her,no matter where she is,
I'll just be by her side,
Finally,
She understands me,
She know what kind of person i am,
She know when i feel moody,
She know when i feel happy,
She know everything about me,
I wish she know how to go with the flow,
I wish i can be the stars,
Want her to look at the stars,
I wish i can be the moon,
Want her to look at the moon during the lonely night,
I wish i can be everything just for her,
I wish i can tell her that i miss her,
I wish i can tell her that i love her,

Babes,
I want you to read properly,understand what i'm trying to say,
I want you to know that i've always been missing you,
I want you to know that i've been always loving you,
I miss you,
I love you ,
Deep down from my heart to you,


PS,
Babes,drink water..taw2? Dun be stubborn,hot weather tuh babes,drink au..if not,i bite you..
miss ya,
love ya babes!
XOXO!


Here's something,

(Wish you were here)

I dig my toes into the sand,
The ocean looks like,
A thousand diamonds,
Strewn across a blue blanket,

I lean against the wind,
Pretend that i am weightless,
And in this moment,
I'm happy,happy

I wish you were here babes,

Need the old you badly! II

Let's continue,
sometimes i feel that i treat dear not good enough,
dears,i treat you good or not?
i want you to know,that you've already got a place in my heart,
i want you to know,
why i treat you different from the others,cuz you already steal my heart,
can i have a place in your heart?
i know it's hard for you but i just want you to know how i feel about you,
every day and night,i keep thinking about you,
are you sitting by the window?
are you sleeping soundly?
i wish i can know,
But there's loads of people,i know there are loads of people also want you,
i'm not afraid to say,i'm gonna defend you,
i just want you to know that no matter what question you ask,i will still answer it..
dont you worry for i am here with you,
words cant describe how i feel about you,
it's not to say i'm trying to be sacarstic or what,but it's true..
When the thunder strikes,i think of you,
i wish i can be by your side,
just to keep you safe and secure,
i just wish i can be with you always,
be by your side,
what i'm saying is true babes,
i just want you to know that i miss you and love you!
love ya lots babes!


here's something for dears,

Your eyes,
reflect the universe,
Your eyes,
the deeper truth of everything,
Your eyes absorb the darkest hours,
At night they shine and show the way,
Through the mace,

What i've been looking for,
What i've been craving is right there,
And i'm not waiting anymore,
In the front of a wide open door,

And i dare to walk the path,
That leads away from everything,
I've never known,

So wise,
more than a thousand words,
So wise,
more than any book could say,
Is written in your eyes,
your eyes,

Your eyes are guns that hit right to my heart,
Those eyes,those eyes of yours,
It's those magic eyes!

Love ya Babes!

:
Babes,drink alot of water..hot weather lehh..must drink taw?..if not,i bite you..haha!..taw2 b?..drink water!
miss ya, love ya!

Need the old you badly!

Why need the the 'old' badly?
Cuz dear's different now,since i lied to her..dear told me that i wont get back the old dears,sighs..
it's not to say i wanna lie dears but i have to,i'm sorry i broke dear's heart,i know dears disappointed in me,i have to lie because if i tell dear that i'm stil smoking for sure dear will not accept wan,that's why i lied..sorrys dear,):

But then i wanna tell out something,
Dear changed my life since 16th november 2009,
i'm really thankful cuz i met dear,
before i met dears,my life was upside down,
alcohol is in me,everything is in me,
but with dear,i seriously changed.
started to pray,attend religion class,
it's like i'm a different person,seriously different,
but then there's a feeling,it feels funny,
it's like i'm in love,but with who?
with dears luu,start from that day,
i started calling dears 'Dear' and stuff..
i know we just knew each other but that kind of feeling,
i can't stand it anymore,i have to let it out,
seconds by seconds,
minutes by minutes,
hours by hours,
day by day,
weeks by weeks,
months by months,
dears and me are getting closer,
what i'm feeling,i tell dears,
what dear's feeling,she tell me,
i's like something in us,
i trusted her,she sorta trusted me,
that's why till today,i'm still waiting,
but there's something,i'll tell later,
wait for another post from me,i'm kinda busy now..
laters.

I'm still gonna go with the flow,haha!

First of all,
I'm laughing like a psycho right now..haha!
Okay,let's make it right.
I know you want me to have a relationship now,and you'll be happy.
not to say i don't want but i don't have any feelings on them..
It's true,there are girls that had feelings on me but i dont have feelings on them,if i had relationship with them..what are they gonna get? HURT,they're gonna get hurt..and everyone describe me as a player,i am a player but i'm not now..everyone can say i'm a player who only know how to break people's heart..but do all of you understand me?..answer me,do all of you understand me.what's in me.who i really need?..do all of you understand?
When i wanna do something good,sure there are obstacle..c'mon.what the fuck is this?..
If i do something bad,all of you will stab me in the back..
Now i'm fucking trying to do good stuff,why can't y'all let me do some good stuff..
Why must i have obstacle when i'm up to something,please fuck me now!
When i had feelings on someone,sure there are tons of people also will have feelings on them,
If y'all want it so badly,fine..i'll give,you take..do i look like i give a fuck?..c'mon man,i don't give a fuck,not a fucking thing at all...NONE,
If y'all are not satisfied about i had feelings on someone,c'mon and please fuck with me..y'all can have that person,i don't mind..
Y'all can say i'm bullshitting,double face fucker,pretend to be good..it's up to all of you,if i said something bad..don't ever say that i didn't give a warning,
Don't even fucking say that i care bout girls more than friend,i give my friends 50%,girls that i love 50%..sometimes please understand me,what i'm really up to..
I'm getting sick and tired of all of you,don't force me to do bad things..i don't wanna do it anymore..i try to hold myself back now..
Seriously,i'm sick and tired of being a good person..i wish i can finish this fucking year faster,i dont wanna be good anymore..it's time for me to be bad again,it's time for all of you to see who am i,what kind of person i really am..
I don't give a damn shit about it,i don't give a chance..
Wanna play games with me,i'll play with all of you..
REMEMBER,
Anything all of you are not satisfied with,come and talk to me..

*I'm laughing like a bastard now..haha!

Bout feelings,No fucking comment!

For the girls that are waiting for me,
Look,i'm sorry..i just dont have feelings on all of you..i'm sorry,
but no matter what,we're still friends.

To dears,
I'm not repaying you by loving you,
You've change my life,
But i don't know why i have feelings on you,
It's okay if you dont wanna accept me,i just want us to be friends..
You must understand,why i treat you like my girlfriend..
You can say i'm stupid for waiting you,
Told you that i love you although we just only knew each other..
Neways,thanks for changing my life,i appreciate it..


*laughing like a psycho person now,
*please understand me,
*look into me,and see what's inside me,
*appreciate it peeps,

Start it with a smile,
End it with a smile,
:)

Missin' You!

17/2/09,

3rd day of chinese new year,
Us,consist of me,Dears and jasmine...
Mid Valley,
Woke dear up at 7,pity her..too early..haha..but she managed to woke up..
then we start texting each other luu,
Dears told me,she like the way i woke her up,thanks dears..can i wake you up everyday?
then at 9,i called dear again n wake her up again..but then we're texting.haha!
10++,we reached to our destination point..meet up with jasmine,
Ahhhh,movies..'valentines day'..but then i forgot to booked the tickets..then jasmine booked the tickets..then we hanged out at Burger King,talking about Burger King..near there was a shop,a shop that sells camera,television and etc.
While we're hanging out,suddenly there's a song played in there..goshh,those kind of song's driving me crazy..why they suddenly play that kind of songs?..haha!
But then they were afraid,why?..weirdness..there's no need to worry..just cheezle and dun worry..haha!
Then we walked around mid valley,gardens..we walked,we talked,we laughed..it was fun though..
Then at 1,3 of us went and line up at the reservation counter..then its our turn to collect the tickets..that guy ask for a reservation number..jasmine forgot the number..What?!..i say What?!..why jasmine? why?..the cinema was f-ing crowded!..we decided not to watch movie..so we took a walk to The Gardens,hanged out in borders..borders,something happened over there..i cant tell..let me n dears know about it..haha!..in mandarin,'Bu Neng Shuo De Mi Mi'..it means,a secret that can't be told..then we took a walk again,this time to Mph Bookstore,I played with the bible..stupidity..then i did something unexpected..what is it?..no no no,i already promise dear not to tell..but then we have pictures of it..hehe..PNC..the pictures are hidden,everything's safe..haha!..
Then bla bla bla,cant tell because its a secret between the three of us..hehe..
Thats it.

Something for dear,


I talk to you but it's not the same as touching you,
And everytime u whisper my name,i wanna run to you,
We'll be together,it wont be long,
But it feels like forever,and it's hard to be strong,

Baby cause' i'm missin' you now,
And it's drivin' me crazy,
How i'm needin' you baby,
I'm missin' you now,
Can't wait till i'm alone with you,
To show you how im missing you,

Wishin' you were here by my side is all that i can do,
Got my arms around my pillow at night,they should be holdin' you,
Thought i was stronger,how could i know,
I cant take this much longer,
It's so hard on my soul,

Baby i just cant wait,
Till i see your face,
Chase away the loneliness inside,

When you're close to my heart,
Right here in my arms,
Then and only then,
Will i be satisfied?
I'm missing you now..
Iloveya babes!


PS:
Dear,drink lots of water a..hot weather..u will easily get sick if u dun drink water..must drink au..if nt,i bite u..hehe..love ya babes!

First of all,
i wanna say that im sorry to Izwanie cuz she's angry..im sorry dearie,(:
why is she angry?
she's angry because of us(me,mira,jas)..go without her,i went back home without telling her,i wanna tell her after she meet her ex..i duwan to disturb,
when i was in car,my mind was only you..im thinking of you,will you be lonely after i leave you alone?..will you miss me?..can she take care of herself when im not around?..gossh,im worried!
Valentine's coming,why must it falls on the same day as chinese new year?..why why why?
I want to celebrate with you...hmmps.
Well,its okay..i can celebrate it later..hehe..
Oh ya,before i forget..Wednesday,i tried to kiss her..but she dun let me kiss leh..haha!..dears,u said tha you're waiting for my kiss..but why when i wanna kiss u dat time,u dun let leh??..
Then on friday,we were planning to go mid valley for a movie,but then..aiyaa..pity you dears,then u went back home and changed..while waiting,i hang out with jas..it was quite fun though.haha..
then we hang out at SR(Secret Recipe)..jas ordered cake,amira too..i ordered lasagna for her..then i did something unexpected,i tried to kiss her!..haha!..but it did not turn out well..haha!..so while hanging out,suddenly leh..mira and dear said there's hair in that lasagna..WTF?!..disgusting!..yuckss!!!!!!!!...stupiakk gehh SR..then we complained,so we dont have to pay for the lasagna..haha!..
then we went back to WAHANA,then i called her to come down and see me..dear called me to go up,ok.i went up and called her to come out and see me..my plan was to kiss her,then i called her to look at me and i said i wont do anything..but then i tried to move my lips close to her lips..well,our lips did touched but just a lil bit..haha...then she sulk,then i ask and ask and ask..then she said dun ever2 text her or call her..i was thinking,'What should i do? im lost,completely lost'..im so so so sorry dears,but then i heard something that made me angry,thst bitch wont stop is it? just stop bothering her,cant you just leave her alone?.
Then i called her and talk to her,she told me her ex was crying..OMFG?!..bloody hell,like a sissy!..really stupiakk..haha..then i told her,sometimes she must be a different person..if she dont,the results wont come out..and i told her that sometimes i dont understand her,it is true..now what i wanna do is,i wanna understand her..i wanna know her more..i wanna know what's in her heart..
okk,im donee here cuz im in a hurry,
last but not least,
Dear,im sorry for all my wrong doings..all i wanna do is to love you day by day..
dun think about anything la now,i duwan u to feel tension..tw2 syg?..i just want you to tell me what's wrong,remember you must change and be a different person,
drink lots of water a dears..hot weather outside..
i miss ya babes,
i love ya babes!
XOXO!
(:
*I want my dear to be happy!!!!!!!!!
duwan her to feel moody,

hmmps.

Dont know how i feel right now,its been a while since i've update my blog...
well,i made her dream come true,i wish i can make all her dreams come true..
i know im nt her #1 yet,i wanna be her #1 so that i can make her feel safe,protected and happy evyday n nite,
my feelings towards her is getting deeper n deeper although she's not mine,i treat her like my #1..i care about her like my #1..i talk to her like my #1..evything i do,she's #1...
i made one of her dreams cme true,drve her..haha!..piy jas,sorry jas! i dont know that u will end up banging the door,sorry ya prefect..haha!..then the next day,we hang out in old town white coffee..i fed her for the first time,haha...datz why la,degil samo..hahah!,next time nak degil lagi x?..hahah!..

dunno what to say alr la,but i know i love her..i found love when im with her..i want her to be happy,i want to drive her again!..haha!

PS,
I dont want you to feel sad a,i want u to feel happy...if sape2 brani,kacau la u..tgk ap i wt..syg u!